Excerpt on personal discovery in the light of darkened valleys. Choices and the benefits of internal and external circumstances.
I'm often too reminded of my own fate. Not fate in terms of past, present, and future, but what will come of the path that I have chose to build for myself. Do I simply act upon instinct and let the proverbial events of modern times dictate my whereabouts, or do I reach out and grab anything and everything that comes my way. This is a conundrum that's plagued my inner thoughts for more than a year now and until I accomplish the objectives set before me in recent times, am I really able to breathe free. How is one not overwhelmed by the tribulations of our troubled days? I know I've been losing sleep over it.
EXHIBIT A:
What prompted me to act in the manner in the first place? Was it the endless hours of manipulated labor? The endless stretch of life that lie before me? Or was it a real passion that wanted, nay-NEEDED, to be explored? From an autobiographical standpoint, design and the re-organization of visual media has always been the focal point to my own identity. It's in my blood. I can't turn my back on my blood. Although many times, I wished that I could. So many questions penetrate the psyche and more times than none I've desperately tried to create conclusions. It's enough to drive one mad. Especially when I'm knee deep in all the surrounding forces pushing me to a place that I've only dreamed about. Is it even out there? What else must one do to achieve the unthinkable?
EXHIBIT B:
So I laid the situation out on the table. In doing this I found my objectives broken up into three categories.
I. Find a career rooted in my passions that is both stimulating and engaging. This is the utmost important thing in life. Wake up, channel your innermost soul for ten to twelve hours, go home. This is the ideal choice and although it may seem unreachable at times, it is perhaps what many of us refer to as The American Dream.
II. Settle for a position that is unparalleled to your wants to make way for your needs. Currency and down-time comfortability can sometimes weigh heavily on rash decisions. Am I willing to give up my inner sanctuary for a few choice chapters. Chapters being food, clothing, shelter, fun, focus, and faith. Many times, frustrated with the way this time-line is unfolding, this feels very plausible and appealing. Especially if this is the only thing rearing it's head in a time plagued with negativity and oppression.
III. Give up all together and start anew. But where does one go after investing so much energy into one convenience? Although, this has never resonated with me so much, it is an area worth exploring. This can easily fall into category number two, but is slightly worse due to the fact that the compromise factor plays a major role.
EXHIBIT C:
As stated in the prior in segment, compromise is the key word in realizing ones goals and objectives. Sacrifice is major one too. How much is willing to be sacrificed for something as trivial as a career. And not just a career but an entire lifestyle and mental state. I've racked my mind over and over on how to successfully craft this lifestyle into a reality, but have come up empty handed every time. Here is what I believe is a serious contender in figuring out the absolute truth.
1. networking
--Pretty self explanatory. It's interesting that your actual work only plays a small minute part in this. Networking is like trying to pick up a significant other. There is a personable game happening where each player is trying to pry one another open. To find secrets, stories, fears, excitements, and feelings. Being socially awkward in not a strong suit in this department.
2. personal branding
--I've always hated that term, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Because in this visually marketed world, the first impression is the most important. If this term was true, nothing would look interesting. How does one walk the thin line of branding themselves a reputable resource without creating a tainted portrayal? Are we to be ourselves or are we to be manipulated versions of ourselves? Again, we must compromise to reach a middle ground.
3. soul power
--Internal drive is what carries me from one day to the next. I often wish that it wasn't because I feel it creates more harm than good. But perhaps I just haven't seen the end result. Time is of the essence. If one has the inclination to do anything at all with this chunk of time that we are given as a birth right, then eventually with enough determination that initial ball of motivation will come full circle in realizing one's dreams. This has no physical bearing other than direct action and involuntary implementation.
4. substantial working artifacts
Everything created from the imaginative state that bears physical form is substantial in providing your situation with a solid foundation. It's the exact reason for doing and being. This I feel is 65% of the game. This is the manifestation in which we strive to create for the benefit of our existence.
EXHIBIT D:
:: The tyranny of indecisiveness will eventually be laid to rest. But with that comes a plethora of unsolved circumstances ::
I've yet to pick and choose the destiny in which my whole existence lies. Combining the 4 elements presented above is a sure-fire way in garnering personal upheaval from evil forces. But the struggle that I succumb to more often than none winds itself down to the fact of whether or not I have what it takes to get what I want. Or does it even matter? Is one way of living better than the other? And vice versa? Will we settle for simplicity out of sheer simplicity sake? Or does it pay to push ourselves to the absolute brink? Is it enough to do just enough?
