If I had a time machine I wouldn’t use it for any sort of good for humanity. Well, maybe… I mean, I wouldn’t interfere too much with the space-time continuum, but maybe I’d prevent a few disasters here and there. Or not… I don’t know.
What I would do is go back in time and immerse myself in the super average. I’d set the time machine to drop me off in 1982 and then I would seek out a Kmart. I would walk around that Kmart for hours just to marvel at all the average american necessities. If possible, I’d love to select any specific location. Maybe I can program it to take me to a 1982 Minneapolis Kmart. Or Akron OH or Boulder CO… The possibilities would be endless.
First I would grab a thermos of delicious black coffee and a few vanilla wafers to stick in my backpack. Then I would program the time machine to take me to mid October 1982, Pittsburgh PA. Pittsburgh would be the ideal location because it’s a little midwest and a little east coast. Great dichotomy if you ask me. Just imagine it.
"A real average mid-century american rust belt dream. Plain as butter on bread. Everything is just soaked in mediocrity. So magical."
I’d arrive in the morning just before the store opens. A crisp wind circles through the early morning air. I’d walk through the parking lot sipping from my thermos. The shopping center surrounding the epicenter that is Kmart awakens to a new day. Cars begin to arrive. Nice! Did you see that? An olive green ’73 pacer. Beautiful! *tears begin to well in my eyes.
Then I would walk through the front door and stop for a moment to let it all soak in. I’d give a hearty exhale as I relax in this wonder world of the absurd. Look at all those browns, tans, grays and oranges. Look at the entry rug all worn out from years of foot traffic and the tile floor reflecting a sickly fluorescent light. Oh man, is it hot in here or is it just me? I’d wander around from department to department just trying to memorize every detail. Every box on the shelf, every piece of clothing hanging from a rack, every display screaming out for attention. Man, eight bucks for this toaster? I’d pay double that just for the box.
"A real average mid-century american rust belt dream. Plain as butter on bread. Everything is just soaked in mediocrity. So magical."
I’d arrive in the morning just before the store opens. A crisp wind circles through the early morning air. I’d walk through the parking lot sipping from my thermos. The shopping center surrounding the epicenter that is Kmart awakens to a new day. Cars begin to arrive. Nice! Did you see that? An olive green ’73 pacer. Beautiful! *tears begin to well in my eyes.
Then I would walk through the front door and stop for a moment to let it all soak in. I’d give a hearty exhale as I relax in this wonder world of the absurd. Look at all those browns, tans, grays and oranges. Look at the entry rug all worn out from years of foot traffic and the tile floor reflecting a sickly fluorescent light. Oh man, is it hot in here or is it just me? I’d wander around from department to department just trying to memorize every detail. Every box on the shelf, every piece of clothing hanging from a rack, every display screaming out for attention. Man, eight bucks for this toaster? I’d pay double that just for the box.
Let’s head to the electronics section. I bet we can stumble upon some jewels over there. It’s strange to think back that TV’s were once these giant pieces of furniture. Just these bulky boxes taking up your living room. Oh look! VHS machines. These things are pretty bulky too. Whoa! Four hundred bucks for this thing? I love the wood paneling on the sides, but that’s a little to rich for my blood. Looks great though. I love those chrome buttons and the tape top loader. I pull out a vanilla wafer from my backpack and take a small bite. Sugar on my tongue. Gazing deep into a glowing technicolor wonderland. Sugar in my eyes. Walking up and down the aisles looking at all the groovy stereo equipment. Everything just reeks of rec room stenches with a fine aftertaste of sickly futuristic wood grain.
What a time to be alive. To find yourself surrounded by so many average objects of necessity. This world; a constant spinning roulette wheel blurring the outcome for all to see. Or not see… Does it really matter? Just relax and let it all unfold naturally.
